F*** me

i did something so silly-ly stupid

maybe i shouldn't be that honest after all
because ignorance is suppose to be bliss
i'm sorry
it's not your fault.really
don't argue

i still want you to be happy
because you know your day makes my day
and i hate it when i'm the one who spoils it
i don't want to add on to your troubles

But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't want me back
You're just the best I ever had

put it down in words.

you can only love when you don't need each other


how true that is. love is a feeling. it cannot be explained. it is not restricted and most importantly. nothing is expected.

come and go

snow white was not bad. a very singaporean flavor play
funny but typical singaporean jokes
like the political culture and the yalam accent
but the little bunny and pageant girl are super cute (:

had some random thoughts. of how one song can mean so many different things to different people. depending on what the person went through or was going through when he or she heard that song. but still. thats the beauty of songs. really random

finished reading twilight and i can't wait to start new moon. meet me soon hotz. of course thats not the only reason why i want to meet you. just a little part of it(:

been procastinating too much. don't know what's gotten into me. i need to be motivated again. by myself of course. i think. get what's suppose to be done DONE yanns!
-apply for SEP
-apply to be volunteer at volvooceanracesingapore
-get my timberland bag changed/repaired (i so need it!)
-revise german
-better start thinking of christmas presents for all dearest

shoo lazybug shoo!

well. there's probably a blessing in disguise.stayed home more recently due to my mummy's injury and i had to do the housework. but its really not as bad as it sounds. feels quite good actually. learnt to wash the clothes and hang them. cook porridge and stuff. i know i sound like a pampered kid who ridiculously should have known how to do all these by now. okay actually i do think i was. BUT at least now i've learnt. forced to. in a way. feels like a little housewife (: and im glad. more than glad that my mummy get to rest (so ironic how she use to vent her frustration at having so much housework to do but now shes complaning that she wants to do housework). mummies-oh-mummies

and i realised how old my mum has grown to be when i was helping her massage her hand. makes my heart ache. thinking of how hard she has slogged to provide for us. its quite a melancholy feeling. but still. LOVE YOU MUMMY! THE MOST!

sometimes i really wonder if people think "why does she bother to type out all these gibberish rubbish?so uninteresting." after reading. but oh well. too bad. at least you've bothered to read these gibberish rubbish. so to be un-rude. thank you and till next time(:

I'm sittin' here all by myself
just tryin' to think of something to do
Tryin' to think of something, anything
just to keep me from thinking of you
But you know it's not working out'
cause you're all that's on my mind
One thought of you is all it takes
to leave the rest of the world behind

Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back, but I know you did

once and for all

WALA!bet everyone has stopped reading this stagnant space. but oh well. then again i don't need too many people to be reading my life. not that im having an eggciting one. actually im feeling quite groggy now after a long day. but somehow i had the mood to blog. so bear with the incoherence

so.having ended my stabilo life for about a week. its rightfully HOLIDAYS! but somehow its not as exciting as it sounds. don't know why. maybe because i don't feel christmas-y yet. maybe because i still have a german exam to clear. maybe because i can't stand my fringe or maybe because im just too broke. i need a job by the way. so yea. do let me know if anyone has lobangs

but i shant complain too much. life's still good (: i had my fair share of fun. went hortpark with this weird uncle who was so smart to have worn black. hence ended up whiny. but it was indeed quite hot. hortpark was definitely pretty but the next time im there. i will make sure its ABEND! and im going to walk further than i did! and i did something that i thought i would never have done in my whole life. even though im glad to have faced a decision i've made bravely. but i swear i will never do it ever again
chew-ing session with my dearest girls was joy-filled. as always. and like i always say. our conversations are so coded (though sometimes unnecessary) that only we can comeprehend. as of yesterday. we have officially joined the under-world due to smartz's unexplainable attraction for ah bengs. especially the lao da. hor xiaolongnu. who manage to get hotz the ferocious ah bao. goggles ah wu and quirkz ah she. XIE XIE LONG SAO!
caught quite a few movies recently as well. madagascar 2 is hilariously cute. rabbitwithoutears is vulgarly romantic (from which i adopted the cutest daughter (: ) and bolt is predictably touching (not very worth it though). coming up next will be wildchild and twilight (:
OH! AVENUE Q IS DARNNNN GOOD! internet is FOR PORN!

on a sadder note. my mummy had quite a bad fall and injured her arm ): that made me think. think that i have been too bothered with my own life. think that i have neglected my mummy even though i love her. think that i should really do more and talk less. its bullshit to say i love her when i can't even be there for her. think its really time i grow up. think my family is really the priority and so irreplaceable in my life. think my own life is really insignificant compared to the wellness of my family. especially my mummy. and im actually starting to appreciate the fact that being able to quarrel with someone isn't a bad thing after all. because that's when you know that the bond between you and that person is so strong that you know he or she will definitely be there for you whenever they are needed. without a doubt

went tekong for my didi's pee-oh-pee today. was really proud of him. even though hes already an old soldier. but the wait to leave-the-island (quoting the boring host) was almost unbearable. more than an hour with nothing to do other than listening to interviews with several parents or friends of the soldiers which only revolves around TWO questions. isn't army suppose to be efficient? :/ but in the midst of the too-long wait. smartz brought me a good news(: she won two tickets for snow-white and im her NO.1 on the list to bring with her. THANKS DARLING! THATS WHY I LOLO YOU! can't wait!




alright. thats about all out of my plain jane life. i'll TRY to update more often. no promises though.heh

"My decision was made, made before I'd ever consciously chosen, and I was committed to seeing it through. Because there was nothing more terrifying to me, more excruciating, than the thought of turning away from him. It was an impossibility."

Everyone should read twilight.

When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it's not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end. I don't want anything from you.

cause i don't feel too strong

this song saved me tonight

I was made the wrong way
won't you do me the right way
where you gonna be tonight
'cause I won't stay too long

maybe you're the light for me
when you talk to me it strikes me
won't somebody help me
'cause I don't feel too strong

Was it something that I said
was it something that I did
or the combination of both that did me out

You know I'm hoping you sing along
I know it's not your favorite song
don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say
you know that some of us spin again
when you do, you need a friend
don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me
and I hate the thought of finally being erased
baby that's the best of me

Everything's behind you
but the hope will stand beside you
living in every moment
have I wasted all your time

Was there something that I said
was there something that I did
or the combination I broke that did me out

You know I'm hoping you sing along
I know it's not your favorite song
don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say
you know that some of us spin again
when you do, you need a friend
don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me
and I hate the thought of finally being erased
baby that's the best of me
baby that's the best of me

You know I'm hoping you sing along
I know it's not your favorite song
don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say
you know that some of us spin again
when you do, you need a friend
don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me
and I hate the thought of finally being erased
baby that's the best of me

shit box what am i thinking of
you need a friend.

stabilo

mugging days have started.but i think i need to step on it

i can't believe chanmalichan dracula rolled her eyes at me when i actually smiled at her.it really doesn't pay to be nice.does it?

skepticality is like scabs.they build up with more hurt and disappointment.afraid to love but yearn to be protected.but it takes alot for one to see the latter

just like the unwritten in an open book.

think.

to not expect because sometimes the unexpected is the most beautiful

too many what ifs form a vicious cycle