so old yet so young

i've been happy this week

even with that weird feeling that is still there

i've been out and i must say all were enjoyable good times

probably except the crowd and people

if i die one day

cause of it will be comparisons and naggings

urgh

circle

i realise its not the first time i've had this feeling

but it just feels like this time its going to last longer

call me lazy call me boring and what others have you

my home seems to pull me in much stronger than all the

going-out-and-have-fun s.

maybe its part of growing up

maybe i'm just tired

not physically

not mentally too.not really

but just something that feels like its not coming through

or maybe it came through

it feels like my family is all i need

but yet i know how some people are so important to me

i envy people who keeps on meeting new people

interesting people

people who add on chapters to their life

yet i'm comfortable in my own circle

sitting at the top of the tallest building

with a revolving platform and glass window

waiting

for things to happen

for people who see me for who i am

not just the fun and outgoing girl

2009 is coming to an end

great things happened

but many are still out of place

i've been active the whole year round

or so i feel

i'm lying on the passive end now

2010 will be better

why is it so difficult to not hurt the person i least want to hurt):

twice shy

words that were said before

are so clear when you hear them

from outside the situation

you've just got to stop denying

lover is the sunshine; could get too scorching and hurting sometimes

but family is the shelter; never fails to protect you whether from the pouring rain or the roaring sun

(:

banana milk and apple.

1 paper left.

1 upcoming job with the kind of beings i love most.

1 most anticipated trip with people i never will trade for.

1 album that got my blood rushing.

makes me a whole lot happier on a normal day like this(:

i need another story

something to get off my chest

my life is kind of boring

need something that i can confess

because WAKING UP felt so awfully good

2 down

2 more to go

but ain't getting any satisfaction

so long,

she got her heart broken

she thought the world crashed

she flipped through the newsapaper

she saw a mother who lost a son

a wife who lost a husand

a country who lost faith

she realizes she is no longer,or never was

the headline news.

the world that never stops for anyone

is needed by everyone

to be a reminder that no one is alone on the path of moving on

-

sing me something i don't understand

read me something i can comprehend

tell me something i already know

always a bridesmaid, never a bride

welcome orange and pink

temptations and distractions

i am sinful

i am only human

Do you know where your love is?

Do you think that you lost it?

You felt it so strong but nothing

Turned out how you want it

baffling

why can not?

why not cannot?

blue, yellow and pink are the colours to the overcast day(:

perspiration is good

i'm tired of justifying

don't justify me

this is love

We are all falling in and out of love. That’s because love comes and goes, and it doesn’t matter if you don’t love me sometimes. As long as the love comes back, as long as the love is constantly on standby waiting to get back into position, it’s enough. I don’t love you sometimes, too.

:)

my girl(:

please come to Singapore

never think

people should be unthinking sometimes

allow life to unfold itself and see what is in store for you

when you try to prevent things from happening thinking that its only going to hurt because it happened once, realise that good things that may happen are blocked out as well

true that everyone has the rights to be happy

but what is happiness without sadness, angst, bitterness and the likes

embracing and acknowledging all that comes your way

will in itself bring happiness

dicks, pussies and assholes

We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks! And the Film Actors' Guild (F.A.G)!.. are pussies. And Kim Jong II!.. is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks!..because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes. Assholes who just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way, but the only thing that can fuck an asshole... is a dick... with some balls. The problem with dicks is that sometimes they fuck too much, or fuck when it isn't appropriate, and it takes a pussy to show 'em that. But sometimes pussies get so full of shit that they become assholes themselves. Because pussies are only an inch and a half away from assholes. I don't know much in this... crazy, crazy world, but I do know that if you don't let us fuck this asshole, we are gonna have our dicks and our pussies!... all covered in shit. - Gary Johnston, Team America

angsty is the new emo

before i start, i have to clarify that i am still proud to be an asian

but in every culture, there are traits you embrace and traits you never make sense of it

asians, in particular chinese, somehow have the knack of bringing people down

stingy with praises

quick at criticism

impatient to protecting their "face"

its sad (and morbid i know) to think that if given a choice

i would think that a good friend of mine, instead of my family,

will be able to give a more accurate account of who i really am

at my funeral.

and things said may be things that may surprise my parents

because they are probably things that they never tried to understand

and with this said, i'm actually even hoping that they will ultimately understand when i die

they have to stop seeing me as a brainless combination of different characters

I AM ONE PERSON

I HAVE MY OWN MIND

I AM UNIQUE

I AM YOUR FREAKING DAUGHTER

don't be too quick to judge

don't put your expectations on others

understand others with an open heart and mind

only in this way will one be able to embrace a person the way he is

and for all you know

you may be pleasantly surprised

nice things should happen everyday

if they don't

make it happen!

i want to grow old like that

TEEPEE moment DEE (:

[i make these; please don’t remove the credit] - littleteaspoon.tumblr.com

tattoo.

i want to get e=mc2 as a tattoo
i am getting copyrights for it till i get it
now!here!

Einstein knew the way of life

Rise up this mornin',
Smiled with the risin' sun,
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singin' sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Sayin', ("This is my message to you-ou-ou:")

Singin': "Don't worry 'bout a thing,
'Cause every little thing gonna be all right."
Singin': "Don't worry (don't worry) 'bout a thing,
'Cause every little thing gonna be all right!"


what a happy little tune

santa claus is coming to town

merry christmas and happy new year!

i love my first christmas present from my dearest not-so-close friend(:

survived two sleepless nights
or more accurately nights of dosing off and jerking up fearfully
tonight i'm going to drift into deep sleep

however mean you want to be
never judge your own friends
because only then you will have friends who
love you though they are not your lover
care for you though they are not from your family
ready to share your pain though they are not in your relation
scold you like a dad
cares for you like a mom
teases you like a sister
irritates you like a brother
be your other eye that
blink together
move together
cry together
see things together
sleep together
and finally loves you more than a lover
-- to all my friends who stood by me --

tests and exams hurry end
money and holidays hurry come

Dec's going to be eggciting

BREATHE

i love my home.

And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me
You're the only thing I (want to) know like the back of my hand

fucking pissed.

i'm never going to do webcasts outside anymore!
the only form of studying out is going to be the most primitive form of submerging myself in endless piles of notes and seeing highlighters till i go blind.

i hate having paid the price
but ending up so unproductive
i hate wasted time

fuck i'm angsty!for real.

i'm not looking

but i don't want to restrict myself

now its only me on my very own runway
as i strut down alone
i will gather myself
and shine again
by then i will love again

i am happy(:

then i was wrong

but still afraid

if only he understood

proven right.again

guys and girls work differently.period

they are insensitive.when they decide to do something.it only seems right because its fun.they wouldn't understand what it implies to girls.they wouldn't know what they are getting girls into.it is true that no matter how independent and strong a girl seem to be.when it comes to something that matters to the girl.she goes awry.and that's why girls are meant to be doted on.in whichever way deem fit.this is from a guy in a drama.but oh well.don't fantasize about the existence of such guys.because these guys are plainly following scripts written for them which i bet is a lady

that doesn't make them bad.they probably didn't want to hurt the girls.but the result is all the same.and this is scary because it just means that girls just have to protect themselves because the real world is practical after all.don't invite a non-constant into your life unless you can bear the consequences.no one does anything without benefits.either you get the assurance you need.if not kill the hope.because as cliche as it sounds.no expectations.no disappointment

its not a big deal, its no one's fault, but a little depressing all the same

No Such Thing

Welcome to the real world, she said to me
Condescendingly
Take a seat, take your life
Plot it out in black and white
Well I never lived the dreams of the prom kings
And the drama queens
I'd like to think the best of me
Is still hiding up my sleeve

They love to tell you
Stay inside the lines
But something's better
On the other side

I wanna run through the halls of my high school
I wanna scream at the
Top of my lungs
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world
Just a lie you've got to rise above

So the good boys and girls take the so called right track
Faded white hats
Grabbing credits and maybe transfers
They read all the books but they can't find the answers
And all of our parents
They're getting older
I wonder if they've wished for anything better
While in their memories
Tiny tragedies

words I really love for awhile now
-

eye contacts can be scary at times.especially when fuzzy and warmth is not the only description to it.especially when you sense protection but yet you are afraid that you were mistaken.that everything said was misintepreted.that you may just be led on again.that it may once again become a shattered part of your memories.but yet cannot be swept away

so I keep myself safe in the comfort of my friends.I know I am blessed with great friends when they agree to study with you though their semester technically starts next week. and when I don't have to find any excuse for being late because I know they'll wait. and when S walks up mt. Sopheeeyerr and roll down the hill just to get us awesome panna cotta.i rather count my blessings and be happily married

karma

when harsh words come out because I simply can't take it anymore
and I actually start contemplating that I meant them
it makes me rethink myself as a person
that maybe I've just been living by standards
and that maybe I'm just a bad person in the core

and so I should stop lamenting
about nice people ending last
but because bad people are just undeserving
period

Unbeautiful

everyone's precious to someone
so before you hurt someone
who does not mean anything to you
think twice
and be nice.
-
I was randomly looking through pictures of a friend we use to laugh at
and reflecting on what we've done in our immature days
though they can't be undone
I really hope they did not leave a scar on her
if they had, I hope it was for the better
on the other hand, seeing all the friends that she has now
and her smile
i'm really happy for her

i'm not a very nice person

Fast on profanities
Fast on lethargy

am i glad to have you around farts(:

we're only humans

Pay my respects to grace and virtue
Send my condolences to good
Give my regards to soul and romance
They always did the best they could
-

One is suppose to feel good being nice
but why lately
I can't stop questioning myself
why do I have to be so nice
I am even disgusted with myself
when my being nice seems so detach from my real self
like a sign of weakness
it makes me want to cry ):

Only a fool

the sign that I was blind to only make me feel more dumb than ever

giving my friend suggestion on what to do for her ez-link running low on cash only to find out I forgot to bring mine and didn't have enough coins with me.what more at the end of the day):

but He's always there to provide(: bumped into another classmate who happens to have an extra ez-link.how amazing! THANK YOU SY(:

silly bimbo moment

Isn't it only fair that you try and let it go?

kid's talk

my little niece said

"you're lying because your eyes are covered(by my fringe)"

while a big part of me went on and played along with her

a small part of me was dumbfounded

unknowingly or not, even a little girl understands the importance of eye contact

woah.

kiss me kiss me

and once again i have left this space on the shelf for a rather long time.but actually come to think of it.it might not be a bad thing as well.every break prepares one for yet another beginning.and a rest of the heart gives it the strength for passion again.and as we step into the first semester of year 3.the excitement and zest of a freshman is clearly lost.but in exchange for a stronger interest in the course that was aroused by the preceptorship and rare exchange opportunity(:

but passing the halfway mark also brings on the jitters of graduation and stepping into the cruel reality.jitters not because of the fear of unemployment or bad economy.but more of the fear of entering yet another long dark tunnel.but this time not knowing when you will see light again.the fear of being trapped in the same darkness and eventually giving in to the mundane routine.and if this ever happens.someone please slap me awake and remind me of the dreams and ambitions i have

life is way too short to scream and shout

by the dining table

I fell in love with my only ardent fan.

a promise is a wonderful gift

want.

Fire, burning me up

Desire, taking me so much higher

And leaving me whole

i've never really felt this weak before.how will this turn out?

but i know its something i really want

i have only faith now.

get me da paolo and i'll say yes.i do(:

the medley

Jack and Jill went up the hill

Humpty dumpty sat on the wall

To fetch a pail of water

Jack fell down and broke his crown

Humpty dumpty had a great fall

And Jill came tumbling after


All the King's horses and all the King's men..

had it coming.

i like seeing cars that are filled.especially those packed with people as though they are trying to break guinness world records

sometimes i would think to myself.if only cars would let know their destination so that people who are heading to the same place or along the way can hitch a ride.makes nicer people.save the environment.the world would definitely be a better place.but if people are actually that nice.it would be too surreal

bist du alle gut?

prunes are toxic :/

on broken strings.

its friday the thirteenth again

in love with gu jun pyo right now

for the sake of classic-ity.i have to do this

P and I: omg.that sounds like its from cleo
M: who's cleo? is she hot?

-burst into laughters-

mrdarcy says:

cheena is a bitch! urghh ):

the gossip world.

bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad )):

i want to escape to a place where people are pure and friendly
but since that is impossible
fly me to somewhere where lines of connections are non-existent

indignant.

what will i see when i wake up tomorrow?

im suppose to be doing microbio pract but drawing the bacteria and fungi is as gross as looking at them through the microscope :/

weekend was fun and fulfilling (: it struck me very hard that its a blessing to be able to bless others and true happiness comes from seeing your loved ones happy

friday:helipad

the nineteen (retarded) things done for the nineteeth:-
1) she had her first yager bomb
2) she treated goggles and quirkz to yager bombs
3) she took a BIG BITE off her cake
4) she had the bartenders and crew from helipad singing her a birthday song
5) she blew out the candles in one breath
6) she couldn't decide whether shes burning from fever or alcohol
7) she asked for a free drink for her birthday (and got icewater.joke)
8) she asked the stingy bartender for another task
9) she got to choose a man to hug (and was asked to kiss instead)
10) she was given a kiss in return (totally blissful and high)
11) she got high
12) she met quirkz's friends to give her more tasks
13) she had waterfall (i hope)
14) she took loads of tak glam photos (not like we don't do that all the time)
15) she ate her cake with the knife
16) she fed her LOLO-est cake with the knife
17) she got a yummilicious cake (i have no idea how to spell the weird frenchy name)
18) she sent goggles, hotz and best friend to the bus stop (:
19) she tried to fill up this list

WELL DONE DEE! the smartest thing you have done is to have celebrated your birthday with US((: WE LOVE YOU MOST!(:

saturday: safarizoorun

fun fun fun(: even though we technically only jogged half the journey of 3km and ended up touring the other half in the zoo. i finally got to visit the zoo zoo zoo(: shushu.thanks for not letting me walk/run alone and finishing the run together(: i want orang utan as my pet!

went to liang's farewell after and though it wasn't a big party.i enjoyed it very much for i got to talk to two of the dearest people in my life properly after so long. mrdarcy: no matter what happens.you have me.thats for sure. myman: enjoy yourself in london and please say hi and send my biggest hug to vk(:

sunday: the surprise

for my cousin who just turned 21! but refuse to come out for steamboat with us for her test the next day. with loving cousins like us.we always have our means.YOU CANNOT ESCAPE!
but i guess i felt greater joy to know that we have brought joy to their family.at least for that moment in time(:

im crashing.

two in a row

onetwothree says:
HELLO
onetwothree says:
is it HAMBURG OR HAMBURGER!

-

Roman He's as damned as he seems says:
hamburg isnt calling u
Roman He's as damned as he seems says:
burger is

and they did it simultaneously.joke

i love this photo(:

careful what you wish for cos you just might get it.seriously

let me rephrase.i miss being busy.BUT NOT WITH S(hitty)CHOOLWORK!

chronic vs acute

I don't wanna be adored

Don't wanna be first in line

Or make myself heard

I'd like to bring a little light

To shine a light on your life

To make you feel loved

No, don't wanna be the only one you know

I wanna be the place you call home

I lay myself down

To make it so, but you don't want to know

I give much more

Than I'd ever ask for

Will you see me in the end

Or is it just a waste of time

Trying to be your friend

Just shine, shine, shine

Shine a little light

Shine a light on my life

Warm me up again

Fool, I wonder if you know yourself at all

You know that it could be so simple

I lay myself down

To make it so, but you don't want to know

You take much more

Than I'd ever ask for

Say a word or two to brighten my day

Do you think that you could see your way

To lay yourself down

And make it so, but you don't want to know

You take much more

Than I'd ever ask for

to hang on or move on?

to encourage or discourage?

to go or not to go?

troubles troubles troubles

i guess i will give it a shot and leave the rest to Him

love them to bits and pieces.HAPPY 21st! <333

can i be sick or not sick and not half half.urgh!

Is it any wonder?

i miss being busy.

come on yanns.you need to break out of your comfort zone.its a darn rare opportunity!

compliment or not.i do not think i look like a rich girl.much less act
http://www.wikihow.com/Act-Like-a-Rich-Girl

i don't know why i keep having this feeling like i'm neglecting relationships with friends no matter how much i meet them or try to meet them.it just feels like they're so out of hands and slipping away.i hope i'm not having blues-of-some-sort :/

so many birthdays.so little money
grant me a job someone!

seggcited for safarizoorun'09
the question is to run or to walk?
how shushu.HAHA

vague

tell me about watching brainless tv shows(:

i think koreans say things that are crudely beautiful

learning to understand someone is like a holiday to a strange place on earth
an interesting and touching holiday
but sadness accompanies it
for you don't exist in his past
you want to feel jealous
but you can't
-

helping mummy with cooking tomorrow
kinda eggcited.hopefully reunion dinner won't be a disaster *CHOI!
tune in to yanns can cook (:

i don't see it coming
but i can't stop now
i need retail therapy.for myself!

let it go

is it always right to do the right thing?

i actually admire people who do things without qualms at times.to be politically incorrect.and be able to be oblivious to other's feelings and opinions.and just go with the heart.even though it seems selfish.but at least they are the ones who are truly happy in the end.and if the others truly love and care for that person.i guess they will then feel happy for him or her too

Let it go, let it be
Don't waste all your emotion on this
tit-for-tat machine
Let it go, let it be
Let it go

My Thoughts

forgive and forget has taken on a deeper and clearer meaning for me.they do not happen simultaneously.but rather one after the other.and true enough.forgive comes first.even when one is hurt.he or she needs to forgive.forgiving is not an emotion.it is a decision.and the process of forgetting can only start after forgiving.forget does not mean forgetting the incident or conflict.it means forgetting the hurt or anger one had.and in return they gain comfort and peace

thank you Father(:

Appearing Offline

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through


incoherently limped.

i know this is damn random

but i wantttttt!

1) a cute rocking (animal) in my room
2) a rug in my room
3) the original uncle's ring with a bigass pretty stone
4) the vintage coin pouch from coach

its been a rather brainless but happy week(:
im proud to announce that i've been a very good girl this week and it feels good

for now.im going to dream of my wants
goodnight world.

in preparation

-
Roman He's as damned as he seems says:
but abt sg
yanns says:
hahah your maam's country okay
Roman He's as damned as he seems says:
hahahahaha
yanns says:
then you can use it to please your maam
yanns says:
might increase pay
Roman He's as damned as he seems says:
hahahahahahah
Roman He's as damned as he seems says:
crazy la u LOL
yanns says:
if not she will send you "bug"
Roman He's as damned as he seems says:
baaaaaaaaaaaaaahck
Roman He's as damned as he seems says:
LOL
yanns says:
then you cannot support your "pamalee"
yanns says:
hahahahahha
Roman He's as damned as he seems says:
pamili
yanns says:
sameee
-
i miss fartee.surprisingly(not in a bad way) alot
and our new tag line goes 'fartees of a fart fart together'(:
come back soon!


Is this what you truly want for a girlfriend?
Or am I just someone you find pretty cute for a good time?
Don't go breaking my heart
I think very deeply and I hold very dearly from the start
So why do you still love me?
cute song (:


and then i thought of the chat over coffee
-- don't let your happiness be dependent on anyone but yourself
auntie zhen(even though only your daughter will see this).im proud to say that i think i've joined your league(:

im so rampant with my smileys.but i like

love or lie/love and lie

epiphany.

e⋅piph⋅a⋅ny [i-pif-uh-nee] :
a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.

when a ship sinks.all the more the life-saving float shouldn't burst

einfach so.

adding on

in this new year.i'm going to

-be a volunteer
-train for a marathon

life can be eggciting when you want it to be(:

looking past

hello 2009.goodbye 2008

there still 6 more days of christmas

new year's resolution:
-fucking do fucking well for exams
-to be spontaneous within my means
-to save a thousand bucks by 31 Dec 09
(rob or steal also must get!)
-pack my room

and i guess to live my life to the fullest.
easier said than done.really.thats why i truly admire those who are able to do it.because to do that we.as humans.have to look past issues that seem overly important to us at that point.and look at life in the big picture.to stop dwelling on searching for meaningless answers and just simply take it as it is.for as cliche as it sounds.this is life.its unfair.but sometimes in life.we just got to give and take.there is no point in trying to justify for ourselves all the time.we have to realise theres so much more in store for us. and because life is so short and things are ever-changing.sometimes theres really just no time to go in circles.but to go ahead and put words or thoughts into action.to embrace our decisions and no matter what happens.look at the alternative streams that is ahead.choose one and flow along with an open heart.instead of looking back and struggle to swim back up the river.

whats more exciting than sex?
anticipation.my friend.anticipation

im still hopeful about 2009(: